By Mufti Abdur-Rahman Ibn Yusuf
Edited by IlmGate
Question:
I’m looking for hadith or Qur’anic verses indicating how men can gain reward from Allah through their relations with their spouses, children, etc. Can anyone give me some direction (names of websites, books, articles, etc.)?
Answer:
Assalamu alaykum
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious Most Merciful
Allah says in the Glorious Qur’an:
“And live with [them] in a beautiful manner. If you are then displeased with them, [then know] perhaps you like something which Allah has created abundant goodness in it” (al-Qur’an 4:19).
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“The believer with the most perfect faith is the one who has best character and the one who is kindest to his wife” (Sahīh Muslim).
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“The believer should not harbor hatred towards his wife. If he dislikes something in her, then surely he will be pleased with another quality in her” (Sahīh Muslim).
Shaykh Ashraf Ali Thānawi said, commenting on the above verse:
“Brothers! When Allah has ordained these rights for women, then who can change them.”
If a man fails to fulfill these rights, he will be guilty of not upholding the rights of the creation. Man should ponder over how Allah has interceded on behalf of women in the above verse.
While there may be many reasons for being displeased with one’s wife, the main reason is usually bad character; this becomes a source of grief for the husband.
Nevertheless, Allah has promised that even this bad character can become a means of attaining goodness for He is All-Wise and capable of doing anything. For example, she could bear you children who become the means of your salvation come Qiyāmah (the Hereafter). Just ponder over how clearly the rights of women are emphasized in the above Qur’anic verse.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“The best of you is the one best to his wife. I am the best among you to his wife” (Tirmidhi, Dārimi).
A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) relates that a desert Arab came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and remarked:
“Do you kiss your children, for we do not.”
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) replied, “What can I do if Allah has taken mercy out of your heart” (Sahīh al-Bukhāri and Muslim).
Anas (Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“Whoever brings up and nurtures two young girls until they reach maturity will appear on the Day of Judgment in a state that he and I will be like this (and he joined his fingers together)” (Sahīh Muslim).
It is easy to gauge from here how Islam has granted so many incentives upon actions necessary for the upkeep of society.
The Spiritual Care of One’s Family
Furthermore, just as it is necessary and rewarding to see to the physical and monetary needs of one’s family, it is even more important and rewarding to see to their spiritual (rūhāni) development.
Allah says in the Glorious Qur’an:
“O people of faith, save yourself and your families from the Hellfire” (Al-Qur’an 66:6).
Likewise, the rewards for a woman are also many if she interacts well with her husband.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said in a hadith narrated by Umm Salama (Allah be pleased with him):
“Any woman who dies with her husband pleased with her shall enter Paradise” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi).
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said in a hadith narrated by Anas (Allah be pleased with him):
“If a women performs her five prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, protects herself from immorality, and is obedient to her husband, she will enter into Paradise from any door she desires” (Hilya).
It is greatly rewarding to treat all the creation of Allah with gentleness and kindness. This reward (along with the responsibility) only increases when there is kinship and closeness. This makes the person into a complete believer, and he is rewarded in this life and the Hereafter.
Much of the above information was gleaned from Ashraf”s Advice on Marriage available from www.al-rashad.com and the Mishkat al-Masābīh, the great hadith collection by ‘Allāma Tabrīzī in Arabic.
This is just a sample of what rich heritage we have been left by our pious predecessors. Other marriage books and relevant chapters in hadith works like the Riyād al-Sālihīn (translated) and the al-Adab al-Mufrad by Imam Bukhāri (translated) can be consulted for more information.
Wassalam
Mufti Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf
Courtesy of ZamZam Academy
Note: This article was edited for spelling, grammar, and style in addition to a new title.
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